6 Questions For Your Acro Partner
Whether you are lucky enough to be quarantined with your acro partner, or you have the misfortune of being separated, here are a few questions you can ask each other. They can help you to:
deepen your acro relationship,
gain more understanding of each-other, &,
take you back to that connected feeling you get when doing acro together (or destroy your relationship completely... let's find out).
Asking these in person is the ideal setup, of course in current times that might not be possible. We recommend video chat, so much is lost in text and the personal touch can be emotionally connecting. Making a note of the answers to read over later is also a good idea.
When answering these questions take your time, reflect and give an open authentic answer without the fear of judgement. Avoid answers like: "I don't know" & "Nothing".
What do you consider our biggest acro achievement to date?
Can you name 1, 2, or 3 things you appreciate about me as an acro enthusiast?
Can you give me 1, 2, or 3 things I can change/improve, which could benefit our acro?
In your ideal world, how often would we meet up to play and how long would our sessions be?
How do you feel when I play/teach/do cool tricks - with others?
What would you like our practice to focus on next?
Where do these questions come from?
We were both raised in the kind of households where communication was less than perfect and has caused us some degree of suffering. We’ve therefore made it part of our lives to learn as much as we can about how people talk and express themselves. We’ve spent years: developing our own toolkit, raising awareness of our own emotional states and their origins, analysing our patterns and changing them to something that enriches our lives, instead of limiting us.
We have developed and refined our skills, not only in our personal lives but also as professionals offering sex and relationship coaching 1-to-1 with clients. These questions come from our desire to cultivate closeness and clarity in our (acro) relationship. We are happy to share them with you.
Our Case Study (answers)
We use these questions quite often in our practice and in our relationship. So that you can see how it works in practice, here is the conversation we had when writing this piece. Remember that at any point you can ask your partner to repeat a question, repeat an answer or clarify something.
Natalia asking Joshua
N: What do you consider our biggest acro achievement to date?
J: I would say it is a tiebreaker between the efficient communication we have built for our acro, or our method for breaking down and refining movements.
N: Can you name 1, 2, or 3 things you appreciate about me as an acro enthusiast?
J: 1 - Your consistency in execution. 2 - Your understanding of moves, and the way you know how everything works. You can take a half decent flyer who can understand and embody instructions and you can do pretty much anything with them as a base. 3 - Your are the best hand-stander who cannot actually hold a handstand, e.g. when we do a handstand entrance to a flow, you can float through it phenomenally slowly, giving me lots of time for foot placement.
N: Can you give me 1, 2, or 3 things I can change/improve, which could benefit our acro?
J: 1 - You can become less self critical and have more of an understanding that other people are not as critical of you, as you are. 2 - When we train something we cannot do yet, repeating it again and again; give yourself more time between iterations so you don't get so worked up. 3 - Make your exit through handstand more of a reflex. At the moment I feel I have to be really careful putting you down but I would like to be able to trust that you can bear your own weight on your hands.
N: In your ideal world, how often would we meet up to play and how long would our sessions be?
J: Every day, 2 to 6 hours a day with one rest- day a month.
N: How do you feel when I play/teach/do cool tricks with others?
J: I feel quite happy because you get to base and expand your basing repertoire with someone closer to your size. Something you don't get to do with me. We are pretty good in star though :)
N: What would you like our practice to focus on next?
J: Hands free star and reverse star transitions, hand to hand transitions and anything we find fun together.
Joshua asking Natalia
J: What do you consider our biggest acro achievement to date?
N: I have two in mind. The first is doing hands free acro, because not may people do it and it brings attention back to slow and controlled acro. The second is planning the International Acro Convention 2021 together and making it a reality.
J: Can you name 1, 2, or 3 things you appreciate about me as an acro enthusiast?
N: 1 - I like how analytical you are, it drives our progress and helps us improve. 2 - I like that you call it all 'data collection' instead of 'failure'. Because I put a lot of pressure on myself, and it helps to calm down my self criticism. 3 - I like that acro makes you laugh.
J: Can you give me 1, 2, or 3 things I can change/improve, which could benefit our acro?
N: 1 - You can fly more. So that you get the flyer's perspective and can incorporate it into your basing. 2 - Don't get so anxious about training loads before teaching workshops. 3 - This is not essential but you could gain more internal & external foot rotation. I think you have a lot already, but for hands free acro it is never enough.
J: In your ideal world, how often would we meet up to play and how long would our sessions be?
N: I don't think I can give you a frequency that works in all circumstances. For example when I am on my period I don't want to move, but generally I appreciate training after it happens, even if you have to motivate me to do it.
J: How do you feel when I play/teach/do cool tricks with others?
N: Fine...depends on the circumstances. Sometimes relieved, sometimes jealous. If I am feeling lazy, it is good when you find someone else to play with. Jealous if you can do something that I cannot do.
J: What would you like our practice to focus on next?
N: I want to do even more hands free things, and try some more pops and icarian when we can find some spotters. I also want to improve my handstand so that we can incorporate h2h in our flows.
We are not only acro partners but also life partners. We ask these types of questions to each-other fairly regularly, and not just about acro. We change the context to whatever is on our minds in the moment, things such as: relationships, sex, money, food,... LIFE!
We hope you and your (acro) partner(s) enjoy learning more about each other.
Joshua & Natalia
P.S We travel teaching acro and ‘Consent and Communication in Acro’. If you have any questions or reflections, or would like us to visit your community to offer a workshop, please write to us.
P.P.S. For more words to help you communicate, check out our Acro-cabulary.